I could have made this trip to Illinois much easier on myself if I had had time to pack a cooler full of real food. Unfortunately, in REALITY, I didn't have time.
We usually get to go to Monica's Pizza once or twice a year. We plan our trips to Illinois/Indiana around our Monical's meal. We stuff our faces with the thin crust and salad with "red" dressing. We purchase extra red dressing to take home with us. This love affair with crispy corner pieces and shredded iceberg lettuce has been a long-term relationship- we've had special family dinners at Monical's for as long as I can remember.
Obviously, I wasn't sure how I would handle going to Monical's, ordering family pleasers, resisting filling my bowl with way too much dressing, and eating more than I have in the past six days combined.
Thankfully, though, after six days without exposure to hfcs, msg, preservatives, etc. I am certain I have broken through the shackles of additive addiction. I am only feeling hunger on a honest level- there is no craving, no additional chemical depletion in my brain. No constant focus on what am I eating next and how yummy (sugary/salty/msg-y) will it be. Still, I really didn't know I could handle a 280 mile road trip that would end at the Kentland Monical's.
It ended up being pretty easy.
Breakfast was grabbed on the way out the door- a banana and a 1/2-ish cup of coffee. I sipped on a jar of lemon ice water and had bananas on stand by in the car while the kids were allowed to munch on Nilla Wafers and Twizzlers during Horton Hears a Who (yes, I resisted Twizzlers). We stopped for gas- kids got to pick some snacks- I just got a car wash.
We stopped near the Indiana line for lunch at Wendy's. I feel free from those endorphin-driven urges to gobble up fries, ketchup, burgers, and pop. I ordered a plain potato and a BLT salad (lettuce, spinach, egg, tomato, bacon, cheese, grilled chicken) with no dressing. I can't be sure how many ingredients were in the cheese, or if there were additives in the bacon (almost certainly), but I did my best. I ate almost all of the tomato! I refilled my jar of lemons with more ice and water and we got back on the road.
Dinner. There were 14 of us (yeah- lots of kids between me, Heather, and Kevin) so we ordered three 16 inch pizzas, one cheese, one peperoni, one sausage. Three family sized salads just waiting to be doused in red dressing. Sprite, Coke, Rootbeer.
I went back and forth. What's the big deal? This is MONICAL'S were talking about! It is ridiculous not to enjoy a family dinner at our favorite restaurant, 10-Day-Challenge or no 10-Day-Challenge. I could have one piece, one bowl of salad (unheard of).
OR I could just not.
I went with that. I ordered a personal salad with grilled chicken, tomato, 2 cheeses, and carrots. No dressing. It was a big salad, and again- I can't be sure the chicken wasn't minced-and-glued, and the cheese was probably laced with preservatives. I didn't eat all the tomatoes. But it was still as a real as I could manage and very very very very low in additives compared to the alternative. Who know- maybe Monica's franchisees use only natural cheese and free-range chicken breasts.
I passed the red dressing to and fro, and at one point Erika tried to dump an entire peperoni pizza into my salad bowl, but I was able to resist. ;)
When I feel myself sliding into that "aw, what the hell- one bite won't hurt" thought, I used a technique that I have found HIGHLY effective. I learned this the first of four times I lost 40 or more pounds (lost 70 lbs when I was in college, and then 40 after each of three pregnancies): visualization. I use my keen imagination to pretend I am eating a Snickers, Zebra Cake, or mouth full of Monical's. I know exactly how they taste and how it feels to indulge in those foods. I can re-create that experience and trick myself into thinking I have just had some. Try it. Think about how the food feels in your mouth. Pretend to chew and swallow. Think about that food in your stomach, the package/plate empty. Think about eating one too many- and regretting it. What is left? A little guilt and a lot of self-loathing? Nope, because you didn't really eat it. And now you don't need to.
Still- will power isn't the point. Deprivation isn't the point. The point is this: experiencing 10 days of real food to see how that feels. A stop at Monical's could have negated the whole experience, but that didn't happen because it is easier to eat healthy now that fake food is out of my system. That is the bottom line.
Tomorrow morning we feast on a Red Roof Inn complimentary continental breakfast. I am in danger of being really hungry and am running low on bananas. Wish me luck!
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